Computer Virus Jokes

by moh22 Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:10 am

Computer
Virus Jokes haha

Computer Virus Jokes Computer-virus

Oprah Winfrey
virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly
shrinks to 80MB and
then slowly expands back to 200MB.

Arnold
Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be
back.

Elvis
virus: Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs only
to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural
America.

Congressional
virus: The computer locks up, screen
splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the
other side for the problem.

Government
Economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic
software says everything is fine.
Federal
Bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units,
each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be
the most important part of your computer.

Politically
Correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead
refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

AT&T
virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service
you are getting.

--
Computer
Practical Jokes --
Computer Practical Jokes --

MCI
virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too
much for the AT&T virus.
Freudian
virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying to its own
motherboard.
Star
Trek virus: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone
before.
Adam
and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline
virus: You're in Dallas but your data is in Singapore.
-- Computer Practical Jokes
-- Computer Practical Jokes
--

Congressional
virus #2: Runs every program on the hard drive
simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
Texas
virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
New
World Order virus: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people
really mad just thinking about it.
Public
Television virus: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask
for money.
Health
Care virus: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong,
and sends you a bill for $4,500.
Nike
virus: Just does it.

Computer
Practical
Jokes
-- Less Known Facts about
Bill Gates

1. Bill Gates earns
US$250 every second, that's about
US$20 Million a
day and US$7.8 Billion a YEAR!

2.
If he drops a thousand dollars, he won't even bother to pick it up
because during the 4 seconds he picks it, he would've already earned it
back.

3.
The US national debt is about 5.62 trillion dollars, if
Bill Gates were to pay the debt by himself; he will finish it in less
then 10 years.
4.
He can donate US$15 to everyone on earth and still be left with US$5
Million for his pocket money.

5.
Michael Jordan is the highest paid athlete in US. If he doesn't drink
and eat, and keeps up his annual income i.e. US$30 Million, he'll have
to wait for 277 years to become as rich as Bill Gates is now.

6.
If Bill Gates was a country, he would be the 37th richest country on
earth.

7.
If you change all of Bill Gate's money to US$1 notes, you can make a
road from the earth to moon, 14 times back and forth. But you have to
make that road non-stop for 1,400 years, and use a total of 713 Boeing
747 planes to transport all the money.

8. Bill Gates is
40 this
year. If we assume that he will live for another 35 years, he has to
spend US$6.78 Million per day to finish all his money before he goes to
heaven.

9.
If Microsoft Windows'
users can claim US$1 for every time their computers hang because of
Microsoft Windows, Bill Gates will be bankrupt in 3 years